When Someone You Love Disappoints

There’s a quiet heartbreak that comes with growing older, not just from the passage of time, but from the people who drift away, the relationships that fray, or the silences that stretch too long.

You might’ve believed, like many of us, that life would get simpler with age. That once the kids were grown, the job was winding down, and the bills weren’t so urgent. The hard part would be over. But the truth is: relationships remain as complex as ever—and often more tender.

Disappointment doesn’t stop at childhood. In fact, as we get older, it can cut deeper. It’s not just a friend cancelling dinner or a partner forgetting a birthday. Sometimes it’s an adult child who no longer calls. A sibling who disappears when things get tough. Or someone you trusted who let you down.

So how do we carry on with grace and protect our hearts when those we care about act in ways that feel careless, hurtful, or dismissive?

Here’s what we’ve learned:

Disappointment doesn’t have to mean rejection.

If someone is unreliable, we don’t shut them out entirely. We stop leaning on them for support.

If someone lashes out or brings drama every time we talk, limit how often we speak or don’t pick up at all.

If someone avoids responsibility or causes pain, accept that and stop expecting change. This doesn’t mean stop loving them. It means stop handing them the tools to wound me again.

We’re all imperfect. we’ve made mistakes, said the wrong thing, and missed a chance to say “I’m sorry” or “I love you.” And know others have too. But the older we get, the more we realise: we can love someone and still set boundaries. We can hope for reconciliation while still living life fully now.

You get to choose who gets close, how often, and on what terms.

You get to protect your peace.

And if someone ie your child, a friend, a former partner, has disappointed you more than once, it’s not wrong to pull back. It’s not wrong to say, “I love you, but I need space.”

It’s not wrong to grieve what’s been lost and still find joy in the life you’re living now.

Because you are allowed to take care of your heart.

Especially now.