Getting older can change what we want from life. For Peter, the man who once wanted to work outside became someone who takes great pleasure in something entirely different: creating the perfect plate of food!
Yep. Is this a story reliant on ‘becoming random’? Let’s see.
“Peter as a young person wanted to work outside. But Peter nowadays wants to cook, serve up the perfect plate of food; visually appealing and tasting just wonderful.”
Peter describes himself as a wanderer. He has followed opportunities, experiences and whatever direction life has presented, rather than pursuing a steady career path towards retirement. He is living the dream surely! To boldly go where one wants to go…
“Consequently, I am far from well off but gee I’ve done some stuff.”
He certainly has.
For 25 years, elite sport was a huge part of Peter’s life. At his best, he was ranked 10th in Australia as a road racing cyclist, went on to become National Coaching Director for Cycling, coached internationally in China and wrote three books on the subject.
“People see a short overweight older guy and don’t see elite sport but it was a huge part of my life for 25 years.”
Today, his focus is different.
Peter runs a small hospitality business, with a vision that is less about creating somewhere simply to eat or drink and more about creating somewhere people feel known.
“My vision has been a small place when you can go for a drink, have a chat and the staff probably know who you are and what you love.”
He wants it to be successful, profitable and respected (of course), but is also thinking about how to sustain it while diversifying the income streams.
With the business comes something perhaps even more important to Peter: the drive to remain engaged.
“I keep working because my worst nightmare is NOT being engaged, NOT thinking about things, NOT learning stuff that is new and interesting, NOT making a difference.”
And then there is the experience that changed his perspective on almost everything.
Twenty years ago, Peter faced a serious health crisis when a surgeon removed a tumour the size of a fist from his right lung. He had been told it was inoperable and, twice, that he had less than five years to live.
Losing 60 per cent of his lung capacity has inevitably changed what his body can do. The former state medallist road cyclist now knows there are things he simply can’t do anymore.
But Peter doesn’t see the experience only through the lens of loss.
“But losing a lung was in many ways one of the Luckiest events ever. I very quickly learnt what matters to me. Everything else is dross. People are important. Lives, loves and connection are the measures of a successful life.”
When he considers what will matter at the end, his answer isn’t possessions or financial success.
“It’s not houses, cars or money – it is almost exclusively about connections I have made, people, positive relationships. And this governs how I live today.”
This is where experience earns its keep.
Peter’s advice is built around reflection: when something goes wrong, ask what has been learnt, consider how the next decision can be made differently, and think about how a familiar problem might be deflected before it takes hold again.
It is an approach he developed through experience, including facing the possibility of death.
“I learnt not to fear death; I’ve faced it and told it ‘Not today, I’ve got a few things to do yet, we’ll meet later.’”
There is self-acceptance in that, too – understanding your value to the people around you without allowing negativity to become a personal definition.
This little nugget, this gem of a thought, is all over our social media at present: the older we get, the more accepting of ourselves we become. Wise.
Peter puts his own philosophy rather more bluntly:
“Life can be a shit sandwich. But a way to inner happiness is how you choose to deal with it.”
For Peter, getting older hasn’t been about settling into a finished version of himself. It is about staying curious, staying connected, learning from what life throws at you – and continuing to choose life.
So perhaps the question isn’t whether we’re becoming random at all. Maybe we’re simply becoming more ourselves.
What do/did we learn today?
This is part of the GreyMatter International Day of Older Persons on 1 October campaign. Who are you becoming?
For International Day of Older Persons on 1 October, GreyMatter is asking people a simple question: Who are you becoming?
Becoming isn’t about adding more to ourselves, it can also be about letting go of the expectations. The should haves, and could ofs, or the versions of ourselves we thought we had to be, then discovering there is still so much life left to live!!
Still becoming.
#GreyMatterStudioLife
This campaign will run for the Day of Older Person and Active Ageing Week.
1. What is something new you’ve taken up, learned, or explored recently that would have surprised your younger self?
2. When you look at where you are today, what is a chapter of your life story that people might not expect just by looking at your age?
3. What is a project, passion, or goal you’re actively focused on right now, and what’s driving your excitement for it?
4. How has your definition of purpose or meaningful work shifted over time, and what keeps you feeling connected and useful today?
5. If you could share one piece of wisdom with someone worrying about getting older, what would you tell them about the value of the perspective you have now?
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